Resting for the Trip

I miss my Brenna. I loved her and will always love her. I know she is gone from my presence and I won't see her again until that great day when we will be reunited in Heaven. And I know that she would want her mom to be rested for the days ahead when I will travel across country, meeting other people who have suffered a hypoxic-anoxic brain injury and their families.

To make this trip, I know that I must be rested. For the first time in years, I will be traveling alone. Brenna was always my navigator. Now, I have it to do alone. That adds to the stress of preparation. The GARMIN can't replace a sweet voice that always picked out where to go and told me how to get there.

I have taken a few hours at a time when I took a few minutes away from the phone and responsibilities of preparation. I slipped away and had a manicure, topped off by a pedicure. I had never done that before. It felt good.

This weekend, I took a short overnight run with the motor home to be sure it ran right and to make a list of any repairs that need to be made. It felt good to be guiding Bessie down the highway. I stopped frequently to stretch, kept the speed around 60, and enjoyed the passing scenery.

I went to a totally unexpected place for me, walked around a little town, talked to the locals, and just had a time to relax my mind. It felt good. Just what the doctor ordered.

This has been a long journey. From May 26, 2010 when Brenna first suffered her medically unexplained anoxic brain injury, through the 16 months while she valiantly fought to recover, her death, my continued grief while writing her book, and the stress of wondering what to do about the book, my body became weak and exhausted.

Now that I have a special team in place to care for the details, I can get mentally prepared for the journey. My team says I need to take the time to be away from any interruptions, time to heal, time to think, time for decisions, time to plan, and time to move forward.

I know my little girl understands. She always did. She knew me better than anyone else ever did and she always wanted what was best for Mom. She knows that her mom needs special time to do what needs to be done to make her story the most affective, to have the greatest impact.

That is what Brenna would want and what her mama needs; so, if you don't see me online for a few days, you will know that I have taken the advice of my team, and have gone to a quieter place to gather myself for the journey ahead.

Meanwhile, I ask for your prayers. The journey is long but the reward is great at the end of the road. Pray for hearts and minds to open as I travel and in the halls of Congress as we address society's attitude of  "let 'em die".

To God be the Glory.