Another awesome day!

Today has been another great day. At noon I met with the two young professionals who are designing the web site. What they have done is awesome and I couldn't have asked for anything better. They aren't ready to publish on the site yet as they are still gathering information. Check it out in two weeks. By then, they should have it ready for viewing.

The Taskmaster found getsocialeyes.com and these two young women took on the task of web design. I am grateful to getsocialeyes.com, but especially to Jessica and Jen, for all the work they are putting into the site. They will have not only the web site but a FB and Twitter account that goes along with it.

My heart jumped when I saw across the site a  thought I had given Jessica last week. I continue to be amazed by their talent and expertise, but most of all, for reading Brenna's journey, feeling the pain, and accepting the mission to do their part to bring change to brain injury recovery.

As I get ready to leave on the journey to DC, please keep me and the old motorhome in your prayers, along with one aging dog who finds it difficult to get up the steps and a lively pup!

Working God's Plan

I spent the last two days at the Ponderosa State Park near McCall, Idaho. My assignment from my team was to rest, no work, except to learn how to use my Sony Exmor R video cam corder. It has so many features, but if I just learn to get the sound right, I'll be thankful.

My team has my best interests at heart. They don't want me tired before I leave for the trip and don't want me trying to learn things on the trip. Tomorrow (Thursday) I meet with the web design team to see  their progress.

I am hearing good things about the book from people across the country who have read it, even women in Canada that I met through another health issue years ago.

This journey is to complete the plan God had for Brenna. With God's help, I am working Brenna's Plan he had for her. Part of the plan was this awesome team God sent my way. When we stop and listen for God's direction, he makes things happen and clears the way for us.

Projected date of trip

September 22, 2012, is the projected day I begin the long voyage around the country, visiting patients and families who have faced hypoxic-anoxic brain injuries. I will be interviewing them as I go, taking their stories to Washington, DC. No one should have to face what Brenna did. She deserved better than what she got out of our broken health care system.

For 15,000 miles, Brenna was my navigator. My heart aches to begin without her, but I know this is what she would expect me to do. This is the first trip in the motorhome that I will take alone. I will need your prayers as I make this journey.

This trip is not only to honor Brenna's memory, but to fulfill the Plan Brenna knew God had for her life. Change must come. Let it begin with a mother's journey.

 

One of Brenna's favorite verses: Philippians 4:13

 

I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me.

Countdown begins

The countdown begins. In less than one month, I will be heading out in the old motor home. The goal is to reach Washington, D.C. after the election and meet with members of Congress about the problems people with hypoxic-anoxic brain injuries face in our broken medical society. The miles are long and I will travel most of them alone, although I will be stopping along the way to visit with friends and families who have traveled and many still are traveling this mysterious journey to recovery of a brain injury.

This journey is dedicated to a special young lady, my precious daughter, Brenna Deshawn Dowd. Mama told her I would take her story to the nation. This is the first step on the journey.

I would appreciate your prayers in the coming days as I prepare for the journey.

Showers of Blessings

First good news of the day.

The new web site is under construction. The URL will be LuvUrBrain.com . It isn't ready yet but check with it in a week or so and watch the amazing web site unfold. Jessica is the young lady from getsocialeyes.com who has spent so much time getting the site information organized and ready to go. She comes up aces for me all the time.

Second good news of the day.

The trip planning is happening. If all goes well, I will pull out of here on the 22nd of September, arriving in DC after the election. I will be traveling a northern route, meeting families and patients who have suffered hypoxic-anoxic brain injuries. I look forward to meeting each one of you.

I will travel I80 until I get to Davenport, IA, then head north through Wisconsin to Michigan, then down through central Michigan to Columbus, Indiana. After Columbus, IN, I will head toward Dayton, Ohio. I graduated from nearby Fairborn, Ohio.

From Dayton, I'll make my way to DC. I'll announce the southern route later. I am working on that one so I am not arriving back in Idaho after Christmas.

Third good news of the day.

I attended a meeting where our Senator Crapo discussed the country's debt problems. After the meeting, I delivered to his local chief aide a letter to Senator Crapo about the issues many of you addressed to me. The aide handed the letter to Senator Crapo, who tried to hand it back to him. The aide told him the letter was for him to read.

And read it he did! Now, I am over the moon with joy.

Senator Crapo not only read the letter, he has asked his staff to find answers to the more pressing questions. Because this is an election year and everyone is very busy, we can't guarantee when we will get the answers, if they will all come at once, or if the answers will come one at a time. But, we have the honorable senator interested.

Thank you, Senator Crapo, from the bottom of this mother's heart. And thank you to all his staff who will work hard to find answers for us, and especially to Lindsay, who heard Brenna's story last month and understood the many problems she faced.

Fourth good news of the day.

The sign idea is in progress. On the back of the motor home will be a huge sign that has the image of a brain with the words, HONK IF YOU LOVE YOUR BRAIN and the URL for the new web site. As people travel behind me, they will be able to check out the site for themselves.

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Six weeks ago, I didn't know how to make any of this happen. Then God sent the Taskmaster into my life. When God opens a door, we pass through and let Him lead the way.

I am so grateful for those who have believed that Brenna's story must be heard and for those who are working so hard to make it happen.

Thank you for all the prayers you have lifted on behalf of this trip. Continue to pray for my strength and for Bessie to make the trip safely.

Life is amazing. God always has good things in store.

This past weekend, I took the motor home for a short trip to NV, hoping to see the  Ruby Mountains. I barely got started with the climb and noticed old Bessie was heating up. I turned around and went back, spending a break time for the dogs in a little park in Lamoille, NV.

One purpose of the short trip was to discover any bugs in old Bessie that needed to be fixed before the big trip next month. The generator wouldn't start and that will have to be fixed. The mechanic in NV (who didn't have time to fix it) said the fuel forms a coating like varnish when a generator sits for a long time. On the trip, I'll be using the generator EVERY day.

Another purpose of the trip was for the Taskmaster to assess how much time I needed between stops to rest up this body. As he prepares the trip schedule, he does not want me over-driving my strength and becoming too fatigued to finish the trip.

I have promised the Taskmaster and team to take the trip in slow and easy steps to preserve my strength. While I love to drive old Bessie, we both are not as young as we used to be and both will need frequent breaks.

Social Eyes-An Amazing Team

This morning, my taskmaster and I met with an amazing team who will provide a web site, FB, and a micro site for Condemned to Die: Ask me how. Tell me why.

When I first met Blane Russell of getsocialeyes.com a week ago, my heart was impressed with his knowledge and dedication to his job. He showed me amazing things with the techie stuff that I could not ever have learned to do on my own. As he was leaving town that afternoon, I gave him Brenna's book to read.

Today, we met with Blane again. He confessed that he had not been able to read the entire book. It hurt too much to realize Brenna's pain in her journey. I appreciated his comments. While friends and others who have followed Brenna's story all those months have commented on the book, this was the first time someone who had never known her and had not followed her journey, gave an opinion of the book. His tears were real. He got it. The book was not about making money. The book is about changes in hearts and attitudes towards those who suffer an anoxic brain injury.

Blane brought in his chief strategist, Jessica. She was a little slip of a thing, but oh, so open and knowledgeable about the job she had been asked to do. This mother's heart broke when I saw the tears in this young woman's eyes. Her pain over the injustices of the treatment Brenna did or did not receive was real. Her tears were real. Over the next few weeks, Jessica will learn all she can about Brenna and about me. She will use what she learns to develop a plan of action. Jessica "got it". She understood.

I could never have asked for a better team. They are truly God sent, just as my taskmaster was God sent a month ago. When God puts something together, events happen. Change comes.

I am grateful to those who make up my team, the ones that will make things happen. Steven, Adam, Blane, Grant, and Jessica and others I may not have seen yet, thank you from the bottom of this mother's heart.

**********

After our meeting with Blane and Jessica, the taskmaster and I went on a different journey. I had decided to purchase a new-to-me house. At first, it didn't look as if I would get the house. I left the house in God's hands. Friday, I got the call. The house was mine if I still wanted it.

Today, I signed the papers. I am now the proud owner of a little house on a small lake on the SE side of Boise. I can hear the ducks and geese and see them play on the water. Tippy will have lush green grass that I have promised her so long.

The house was fully furnished and the price was right. Tonight, I took personal belongings to the new house and made a list of things I wanted to keep and those I wanted to let go.

Now begins the journey to move. I will be sorting stuff and learning to let go of things I no longer need but have held onto.

Please pray that I get this older home sold soon. Then I can truly reach to the future with Gibbs and Tippy at my side. They will love the new place. I just hope Gibbs doesn't spend too much time barking at the geese. Tippy just wants the grass.

And again, thanks to my friend and taskmaster for helping me along this way.



Resting for the Trip

I miss my Brenna. I loved her and will always love her. I know she is gone from my presence and I won't see her again until that great day when we will be reunited in Heaven. And I know that she would want her mom to be rested for the days ahead when I will travel across country, meeting other people who have suffered a hypoxic-anoxic brain injury and their families.

To make this trip, I know that I must be rested. For the first time in years, I will be traveling alone. Brenna was always my navigator. Now, I have it to do alone. That adds to the stress of preparation. The GARMIN can't replace a sweet voice that always picked out where to go and told me how to get there.

I have taken a few hours at a time when I took a few minutes away from the phone and responsibilities of preparation. I slipped away and had a manicure, topped off by a pedicure. I had never done that before. It felt good.

This weekend, I took a short overnight run with the motor home to be sure it ran right and to make a list of any repairs that need to be made. It felt good to be guiding Bessie down the highway. I stopped frequently to stretch, kept the speed around 60, and enjoyed the passing scenery.

I went to a totally unexpected place for me, walked around a little town, talked to the locals, and just had a time to relax my mind. It felt good. Just what the doctor ordered.

This has been a long journey. From May 26, 2010 when Brenna first suffered her medically unexplained anoxic brain injury, through the 16 months while she valiantly fought to recover, her death, my continued grief while writing her book, and the stress of wondering what to do about the book, my body became weak and exhausted.

Now that I have a special team in place to care for the details, I can get mentally prepared for the journey. My team says I need to take the time to be away from any interruptions, time to heal, time to think, time for decisions, time to plan, and time to move forward.

I know my little girl understands. She always did. She knew me better than anyone else ever did and she always wanted what was best for Mom. She knows that her mom needs special time to do what needs to be done to make her story the most affective, to have the greatest impact.

That is what Brenna would want and what her mama needs; so, if you don't see me online for a few days, you will know that I have taken the advice of my team, and have gone to a quieter place to gather myself for the journey ahead.

Meanwhile, I ask for your prayers. The journey is long but the reward is great at the end of the road. Pray for hearts and minds to open as I travel and in the halls of Congress as we address society's attitude of  "let 'em die".

To God be the Glory.

God is good

God is so good.  When I felt so lost and wondered what to do about Condemned to Die: Ask me how. Tell me why., how could I get to where I needed to be, my shoulders felt like they were carrying a ton. I wanted her story to make a difference. I just didn't have an idea how to do that.

Then as I sat here at the computer almost a month ago, God led my fingers to search for someone who COULD do what was so overwhelming to me. On the 4th of July, I found the answer in a very special person who does not usually handle books and authors.

God led me to look for a specialist who knew what I needed to do and could develop a plan on getting there. A team is now in place. My burden is gone.

Look for the announcement of a brand new web site, Facebook page, and a micro-site within Facebook. It is coming soon. The good people at getspecialeyes.com are on board. They do an awesome job. Please check them out.

I know those who have followed my journey through these months have been worried about me. I was restless and my mind was running willy-nilly, trying to figure out on my own what to do. I was so busy running, I wasn't listening to God. I couldn't hear his voice over my frustration. I knew better than that!

The answer was so simple. I had to let God know I had stopped running and was waiting to hear from him what he wanted me to do.

Last night as I was talking to a friend about all these plans and how God had helped me along when I stopped to hear him, I noticed the LED candles by Brenna's urn were out. I never like them to go out, but before I could put in the batteries, the light on the side of her good eye began to flicker. I knew then that my little girl was happy to see the progress in her mother's life and with the book.

I will share more good news Monday evening. Keep watching.

God bless and keep.

To the families

To family members who have a loved one
with hypoxic or anoxic brain injury

Never, never give up. You are the hope and the future. The brain is complex. While we use less than 10% of the cells in our brain, the medical profession knows little about the brain and how it operates. It takes love and patience for recovery.Your loved ones has YOU on their side. That is critical in the days ahead.

My daughter suffered an anoxic brain injury on May 26, 2010, following a simple retina eye repair. One day she was normal, the next she was unresponsive. The doctors told me I would never have the answer to what actually caused the brain injury. She fought valiantly to recover for 16 months. I have posted some of her videos on this blog. While Brenna died, she did not die of the brain injury. She died as the result of months of inept care in various facilities that set her body into an imbalance. None of the facilities were equipped to care for a patient who was a brittle diabetic and none would follow the routine Brenna used at home. They allowed her potassium to overload her body and the coumadin caused internal bleeding. Yet, in spite of all that, she lived to struggle forward. I am proud of her efforts to survive and I have no regrets for saving her live and working with her.

I was proud the day she sat on the side of the bed, six weeks after her injury and took her first stumbling steps in the LiteGait that fall. I was proud when over a year later, she made her first word that came out as "ma-um".

I recently asked a mom what she would tell Congress if she had just one thing to say. Her quote: "When you have seen ONE brain injury, you have seen ONE brain injury." All are different because of the complexity of the brain.

In the coming days you will hear many confusing statements from the medical profession. That is their job as they see it. They may tell you that anything you see as positive is "just the brain injury". No, no one knows your loved one  better than you do. You know when a movement or expression is back to pre-injury days. Hold those in your heart and know that others here have gone through this same experience.

Pam
Brenna's proud mom

Brenna and Mom

Fall of 2010

Life Care was getting ready for an important BSU game.

Brenna loved BSU and her beloved Coach Pete.

She always said, "Mom, Coach Pete has integrity."

Being dragged into this century

The year is 2012. You would think by now I would have learned something about Iphones, etc. Not so. Brenna tried to teach me but I was an unwilling student. I saw no reason to ever need to use an Iphone.

Things have changed. My precious girl is not here with Mom to keep me on track. My manager told me I needed to be up-to-date for the upcoming trip. I needed a phone that could communicate from any place I might be. For my personal safety, I knew he was right, but I was still reluctant. I just KNEW I couldn't learn.

I took Brenna's Iphone to the nearby AT&T store today. They recharged her battery and sold me a new screen protector and charger to go with it. The battery wouldn't stay charged. They suggested that I go to a cell phone repair shop. My good friend and manager told me to try Radio Shack.

RS told me that the AT&T store in the mall was the only place that could take the back off the phone. I haven't walked the mall in ages, not since Brenna became sick. My manager gave me good directions and I found the store where a very nice young man took me in hand. The battery couldn't be exchanged. They are soldered in. When the battery doesn't work, you buy a new phone.

All the young men in the store insisted that I really would want to download music, after all, EVERYONE listens to music. They don't know me! I listen to the same CD in the car all the time. I found something I like and see no reason to change it. I have no clue who most of the singers of today are and find it inconvenient to search for something that I MIGHT like when I already have one CD that I KNOW I like. They just knew I would need all those apps, too. I doubt that.

Almost three hours later, I came out of the store, not with Brenna's old phone, but with a brand spankin' new phone. This very nice young man, not only sat and showed me all the basics, he programmed his own phone number into the contact list in case I had problems. His girlfriend's 2 year old can work an Iphone. THAT shamed me. If a 2 year old can master an Iphone, I guess I could, too. He refused to loan out the little girl.

Have no fear. As I cross the country, I will have a new phone that can reach out and touch somebody if I ever need help.

Thanks to my manager and his team for bringing me gently into this century. They have faith that I can learn. I promise not to disappoint them.