Do you see what I can't see?

Ten months ago on September 26, 2011, shortly after midnight, I noticed Brenna looking around the room. She had a smile on her face and both eyes were open in wonder. Her left eye had been damaged during constant doses of an eye medicine that left her eye not only brown, but looking like a hard fried egg. I hadn't seen both eyes open and looking around for ever so long. This time was different. I could see her rosebud mouth moving as if talking to someone. Her smile was bright and happy. I could see nothing.

I crawled into her bed, cuddled her close to me and asked, "Brenna, what do you see?"

She smiled.

"Brenna, do you see something Mama can't see?"

She just kept smiling.

I held her close and sang the songs God had given me over those months of her illness. Brenna still looked around with her big smile.

Whatever she saw, whomever she was talking to, was someone I could neither see nor hear. I believe her experience was real.

I stayed at her side until her eyes closed and she went to sleep.

When morning came, and I prepared her for the day, her blood glucose counts were normal for the second day in a row. No need to use the "R" insulin. All her body functions were becoming predictable and back to normal. I told her how very proud I was of her progress.

Later in the morning, I worked with her on saying "AH!" She smiled at me and then I heard, "AH!" That was the last picture I have of her. Proudly saying "AH!"

That afternoon, while I went for supplies and left her with a friend, my beloved daughter had a Sudden Cardiac Arrest.

Through the next few days, I retained my routine of caring for Brenna, this time in the ICU of St. Alphonsus Regional Medical Center. The staff was good to her, they were good to me. I curled up in the recliner in the room and waited, waited for my daughter to return to me, one more time.

I prayed to see Brenna open her beautiful blue eyes again. Smile at me again. I just knew that my voice could reach into her being and bring her back to me, one more time. I did not want our journey to be over.

Brenna's coming back this time was not meant to be. On October 1st, I brought her home the last time. I saw the tears in the eyes of the EMTs. In all those months, they had taken her on other trips across town. They knew this was Brenna's last ride in an ambulance. In my heart, I knew my daughter was gone, but my mind did not want to accept.

I cherish the moments, every one I had with her. I have no regrets at saving her life. I have no regrets for the hours and days I spent with her. I loved her before she was born. I loved her all her life. I will love her still, all the days of my life.

Please read her journey through her fight to recover from her anoxic brain injury. Condemned to Die: Ask me how. Tell me why. Available at Amazon and Barnes & Noble.