Playing Dress Up

Playing Dress Up
Brenna wearing Mama's hat.

Tuesday, September 4, 2012

God is the Glitch

God is the Glitch

Have your life all planned out, know what you are going to do with your life, and then suddenly life takes a turn in an unexpected direction?

When that happens, God is the glitch. God is saying, “Back up. I am in charge and you aren’t going the direction I want you to go.”

I had a major moment like this in my life in 1994. I want to share it here.

In late 1993 I decided not to run for another term on city council. I felt at peace with the decision. Then during the spring of 1994, I decided to throw my hat in the ring for county commissioner. I won a 5 way Republican primary, beating out the incumbent and three others. It looked like smooth sailing in a county that was predominately Republican.

During that summer and fall, I attended the fairs, picnics, and parades, meetings, hearings, and candidate forums. I went to everything where a candidate was supposed to go. Everyone said I was a shoo-in.

We posted signs and my husband even built a huge sign, lit with white Christmas lights, on the west end of town.

The night before the election was cold and rainy. We went to a dinner at church. After the dinner, I felt pressed to go to the big lit-up sign. When I pay attention to those inner feelings, I learn something. 

The sign was sitting high on a berm where no one could miss it. I got out of the car and walked alone to the bottom of the sign.

As I stood at the sign, I gave the election into God’s hands. I wanted to win. I knew I could do a good job. But God had other plans.

As I stood with head bowed, I heard a gentle voice say, “And if I ask you to lose?”

I didn’t question. With tears streaming down my cheeks, I slowly walked back to the car. I looked at my husband and said, “It’s over. I will lose the election.”

The next day was difficult. My supporters were so positive and uplifting. How could I tell them about this message from God? I didn’t want to burst their bubble. They had gathered for victory. My heart knew it was going to be a loss.

Since then, some have asked how I could lose a Republican seat, in a predominately Republican county. Even my Democrat friends, who had voted Republican for the first time in their lives, wondered.

I knew. My plan was not God’s plan.

I went through years of being very ill. In 1998, a doctor said I should go to bed as I would never get any better.

God had a better plan. God needed me well. He needed me for Brenna’s sake. God needed me for this day, for this trip.

I did not know that God’s plan meant losing my only beloved daughter. My heart aches for her every day, but I know that she would be happy that her mom has at last reached the place where I am again listening to God’s plan and not trying to do things alone and in my own way.

I have placed this trip into God’s hands and myself into his keeping. God sent a wonderful Taskmaster to take care of the logistics of the trip and arrange a team of people who could do what I cannot do.

When we truly let go and let God have charge, we discover that while God’s plan may also be difficult, he will make a way for all things to work together for His good.

So, when you face a major glitch in your life, know that our loving God cares for you and he has a better plan.

 

 

 

1 comment:

Rhonie K said...

What an inspiring message. Brenna was a blessed young woman to have you as her mom. I think of you often. God bless you,