Pondering

I have traveled almost 4000 miles, crossed 8 states, visited 4 levels of brain injury rehabilitation facilities, and am sitting 390 miles from DC right now. On November 14th, I will meet with Senator Crapo to discuss what I have learned on this journey. Top of the list will be the concerns of the families with brain injuries who have participated in Countdown to Congress.  I will include the concerns people have posted on luvurbrain.com as well as what I have learned at the facilities.

Yet, my mind still wanders at times. I think of my little Brenna who was not given the chance to recover and live. She deserved more than the inhumane treatment she received in many of the facilities where she was unfortunate enough to land. I should have been able to have her at home.

Today I walked into a Flying J where we had been before. In the convenience store, I stood in the place where she stood a few years ago, talking to a young trucker who had bought his mother a new front load washer and dryer for Christmas. She stored it in the barn  until her others wore out. He was taking time off to install it as he wanted the best for his mother. Brenna said, "Mom, I want a husband like that, one who loves his mother and is good to her." She never got that. Then I walked into the restaurant and passed by the table where she sat, working on a class assignment while I fueled up. My heart broke.

And I think of other things.

While traveling all these miles, the mind has time to ponder. My question is: For the person in the hospital or nursing home with a brain injury, does DNR really translate to MUD...Maintain Until Death. And that is ALL they do, never try to help the patient recover????

The mind can't help but think of these things. I never would sign a DNR for my precious Brenna. She was getting poor treatment in too many places already. I didn't want to give them another excuse to ignore her best care. She wasn't a MUD.  She was a human being, the joy of her mother's life.  Always and ever, I love my daughter, Brenna Deshawn Dowd.